They strive to be in the spotlight. Depreciate the results of others, exalting their own. Emphasize other people’s shortcomings to look brilliant against their background. What other typical tricks of the narcissist should be known, says psychologist Christine Hammond.
Christine Hammond (Christine Hammond), consultant psychologist, her blog The Exhauded Woman.
Each of us at least once came across this type in our environment. How to recognize the daffodil and not become a victim of its manipulation? Remember the basic rules of conduct.
«Own» version of someone else’s success
The classic reception of the daffodil – “supplement” and “adjust” the story about the achievements of other people. He can hide behind good intentions, assure that he simply appreciates an honest game. But in fact, such a situation is beneficial to him: so he simultaneously humiliates his opponent and shows himself as a fighter for the truth.
– Ivan Ivanovich defended his doctor at 30!
– Well, I would, because a whole staff of students and laboratory assistants worked for him.
– I saw your classmate on TV. She leads the program to the prime time.
– She patted her eyes in front of the producer – she was taken. It was worth it to end the medical?
Card index of errors
Narcissus skillfully collect information about colleagues, rivals, managers to use at the right time. They can use their charm, pretend to be friends to call you frank. As soon as they find out what you can use against you, they will not fail to use information for blackmail. Narcissus will be from time to time – usually soundless, as if in a joke – to remind of your «little secret» to have power over you.
Imaginary perfectionism
There are no perfect people. True, there is always an exception for the daffodil: he himself. In the search for other people’s errors, to the narcissories there are no equal. They manage to obscure personal interest in this. If the daffodil is accused of excessive meticulousness, he will smile broadly and say: “Yes, this is a joke. You can’t joke already. What do you have with a sense of humor, a friend?»
Search for the guilty
If something goes wrong, Narcissus always finds the one who turns out to be “extreme”. Good knowledge of psychology helps him choose the role of one who does not object and defend himself. Often, Narcissus chooses in advance as a partner of a person who can be blamed for the failure or opening of his fraud.
Baby talk
In any relationship, Narcissus seeks to dominate. One way is to convince his partner of his immaturity and children’s behavior. Narcissus interprets any situation in the context of an adult-child. In a conversation, he often resorts to demonstrative Susyukan, feigned care and pity. “Well, what are you angry like a little? Ah, I offended you? Well, well, just don’t cry. Do you want to buy you candy?»
Link to religion
Narcissus knows very well that beliefs and beliefs are a powerful lever of pressure on other people. Conscience does not allow us to calmly endure the contradiction between our values and actions that deviate
from them. Even if the deviation is completely insignificant, the daffodil will try to inflate it, build it into the absolute. For example, often the phrases are used: “How can you trust you if you constantly hypocrite?»;“Here you condemn me, and this is not Christian”;“How is it okay? And so the moral in our society collapses «.